hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
