He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
