he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
