all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You pole danced in your parka.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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