first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize