I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize