I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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