You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
