I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Shame - the story of my life.
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