I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
