Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I came so hard my ears popped.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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