Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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