i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
How does it feel to date your dad?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
