yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
