Bisexual people are plain selfish.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
