i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
