she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
