Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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