i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
