Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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