so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
