I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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