i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize