just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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