i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
