no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
