Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
