Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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