you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize