i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm jealous of your bromance
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
