Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
