Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
