No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
