I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize