You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
