Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
