I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
