So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She said her name was "party"
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Randomize
