sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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