I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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