Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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