I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
