My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
