Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
