we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
