the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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