so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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