My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
