Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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