If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize