I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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