so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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