god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
