the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
