dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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