Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
