He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Randomize
