Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
