They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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