Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
