sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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