after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
