You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
