I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
