First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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